It can be mighty satisfying to defeat an enemy with a finishing move, whether it’s ludicrously violent like in Mortal Kombat, or just incredibly flashy and painful, à la WWE games. These ones, though, are too silly to take seriously…
Send In The Clowns – Eternal Champions: Challengers From The Dark Side
Fighters from past, present and future completely throw the concept of time paradoxes out of the window by killing one another gruesomely in this cult-classic Sega CD game. In the Russian circus level, if a fighter is knocked down with low health to the right of the circus tent, they’ll become pancaked by a clown car. Talk about a killing joke…
P-P-Pick Up a Penguin – Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3
Scorpion has an untapped power: turning into a penguin and pooping out egg bombs. The MK team have a lot of explaining to do.
This is what happens when you don’t nerf an overpowered weapon.
Flash – Killer Instinct
Orchid from the combo-centric Killer Instinct had an unbelievable finishing move. She defeats her opponent by unzipping her top and flashing her jugs (as you do). As a result, the loser collapses out of shock like a wimp. If you go up against another Orchid fighter, she’ll just look away in disgust. Can you really blame her?
Nudeality – Tattoo Assassins
The unreleased arcade fighter Tattoo Assassins was said to have over 2,000 finishers. One of them allowed you to humiliate your opponent by instantly taking all their clothes off. This was inspired by the pervy rumours that circulated between Mortal Kombat fans back in the day, whom of which said that you could do the very same thing via a series of elaborate inputs.
Hope someone has a doggie bag handy, otherwise that’s gonna be a hefty fine…
Who thought it’d be a good idea to shoehorn the Wu-Tang Clan into a fighting game? Paradox Development did. As if that wasn’t weird enough, there’s a finishing move where your enemy is placed on top of a carnival strongman game. The winner tests his might with a giant blade, thrusting the bell upward with so much force that the loser is instantly gibbed.
Golden Shower – Primal Rage
Fun fact: this dirty fatality was the very reason why the Mega Drive version of the game was temporarily pulled from shelves in the U.S. The mutant ape, Chaos, had a pretty nasty selection of special moves in this post-apocalyptic title. They consisted of puking, farting and backside-slams, but they pale in comparison to him emptying his bladder on the opponent, melting their flesh away. When it comes to embarrassing moves, this finisher is no. 1.
Dampierre’s World – Soulcalibur IV
Some people don’t need to use violence to end it all. Dampierre loves to deceive people for his own personal gain. Here, he uses the opportunity to fleece the opposition out of their cash with a sob-story he makes up on the spot, as seen by some fast-forwarded, illustrated thought bubbles.
Vader’s Big Ass Slam – WWF In Your House
Wrestlers come in all shapes and sizes, many of which have proven themselves in the ring on more than a few occasions. What better way to honour big brawlers like Vader than by giving him the ability to K.O. the contender with his big, fat wobbly bottom? The amount of excess flab on his backside is ludicrous; let’s just hope the poor dude never found out about this during his heyday in the ring.
Are there any silly finishing moves that come to mind? Be sure to share your ideas in the comment section below!