Kasumi Ninja (Atari Jaguar) – Terrible Tuesday

I have wanted to write about this piece of tripe for a LONG time. I played this Atari Jaguar ‘exclusive’ over 20 years ago and still the pain remains. Hearing the narrator stating the name of ‘Chagi’ has stayed with my all of these years because my brother sometimes pulls out an impression of it from nowhere because he too remembers how big a joke this game was.

I don’t know what Alaric is supposed to be and I’m not going to find out

Everything is just so bad. The narrator sounds like an offensive attempt to mimic an Asian accent, the character portraits look like they came from a Comic-Con wall of shame, the fighters have nothing unique about them- wait a second.

Great Scottish balls of fire

So one of them is a Scotsman who shoots fireballs from his bollocks. OK, we’ll let that one go, but otherwise it’s just a complete and utter mess. The animation is not unlike the crispness of a silent movie from the 1910s, I can only imagine how it must be to view when you’re bladdered. Sound effects sound irrelevant to the action that’s being carried out, and it’s funny to see someone get kicked in the shins, and then for blood to spray out all over the floor.

That horse is just totally oblivious

Digitised graphics never made the mark where fighting games were concerned and the quality was rarely as low as it is here in Kasumi Ninja. It makes Streetfighter: The Movie look like a Da Vinci. The backgrounds… the horror. The weirdness at the end of the game when you’re seemingly transported to hell after enjoying having a scrap in the Scottish Highlands and the San Francisco bridge. I wanted to get to the end of this without mentioning Mortal Kombat but screw it; Mortal Kombat curb-stomped the hell out of this and never looked back. Kasumi Ninja is so bad I struggled to find any worthwhile video on Youtube to use on here so, if you want to see Angus’ flaming nutsack, go look for the game over on YT.

Capcom must have been bricking themselves

Catch me saying ‘Chagi’ @auto2112