Monopoly Gamer Mario Edition Is Cool, But The Mario Figure Terrifies Us

Save-a yourself

What exactly is Monopoly Gamer you ask? It’s a new version of Monopoly that tries to make itself more ‘Gaming’ based. What means is that the base game of Monopoly has changed to accommodate gaming ideas, like Boss Fights and stages you have to complete. It’s pretty much Monopoly for the kids today who complain the classic version is too ‘old’. The game even has microtransactions.

Collectables rather. Yes, you can buy ‘Power Packs’ in stores that give you new characters to use with your board game, all with new abilities for you to enjoy. You are reading this right, a board game now has microtransactions. All in all, the idea of a ‘gamer’ based Monopoly seems like a cringe like concept overall, but we’re sure it’ll have its place and people will find some level of enjoyment out of it.

But no no. We need to talk about the figures bundled with the game. Nintendo has a history of having, well… less than stellar paint jobs on their figures. Early examples would be the first batches of Amiibo that used to come out of the woodwork that did not resemble the figures that were shown during tradeshows or announcements. See the example below of the poor paint jobs used on Nintendo figures in the past.

You uh… you okay there Marth?

Now, obviously, it isn’t Nintendo’s fault. But rather the manufacturing company they’ve been using. But sometimes you just see things that make you wonder what we did as humans to ask for such an eye tragedy. The recent Mario figures on this ‘Gamer’ Monopoly piece is a good example of this, as all the figures featured look pretty darn awful. Peach is a shadow of her former self, resembling her Rabbids counterpart more than anything. DK is a bit off. But overall, Mario looks ready to actually steal our soul.

The lack of paint in his eyes makes it. As if melting at the pure idea of being featured in such a board game. Mario has been just about everything, but this figure looks just about done with everything. The last straw for him was being featured on Monopoly Gamer. Years of battling Bowser, driving Go-Karts, playing Golf. No no. This was it for Mario. You can just see the death in the eyes of our beloved Plumber. The gaze he has is absolutely terrifying.

So as you enjoy your day, just remember the dead expression of Mario. If you ever see a copy of Monopoly Gamer: Mario Edition, just remember the figure that’ll be waiting for you in the box. The most terrifying Mario we’ve ever seen.

Despite the Nightmare Mode Mario figure, do you find the idea of this ‘Gamer’ edition of Monopoly fun? Let us know in the comments!

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